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behind me, my heart

i apologize in advance
for all the swearing
and the tasteless suits
that i’ll be wearing
the phone ringing off the hook
people selling us stuff
we never or ever wanted
and us buying it
because sometimes
i don’t know
just sometimes
you’re tired of saying no
for catching each of our faces
in that one look
and not seeing much more
walking down to the store
to buy the wrong ice cream
or facial tissue
the stuff you didn’t have coupons for
the very shit
you told me not to buy
my face stuck in that same look
getting home well past 8
and talking carelessly
until it’s late
for drinking all the booze
just to say
there’s nothing left to lose
i tell you
there’s a thousand things
i’d like to leave behind
some of them
haven’t even happened yet

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